NJ Creatives Network February Meeting

by Eileen Watkins

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One aspect of freelancing that people especially look forward to when they strike out on their own is working from home. They imagine that after years of rushing out early to the office and coming home late because of traffic, they'll finally be able to strike a better balance between work and family.

If only it were that easy!

February speaker Mary Amoroso pointed out in her talk on "Balancing Your Personal and Professional Life" that working from home sometimes just creates a new set of problems.

Growing up as one of six children, Amoroso learned to do her schoolwork late at night after all the others had gone to bed. This kind of resourcefulness later helped her adapt to a series of media jobs in chaotic environments.

Now host of CN8's "Real Life with Mary Amoroso," she also wrote a column for The Record called "The Pressured Parent" and held many other positions in both print and broadcast media. She has received The New Jersey Press Association Award, the Cable ACE Award, two Telly Awards and a Mid-Atlantic Emmy Award.

Once portable technology enabled her to work from home, she encountered a new set of distractions from her four children and her mother. "Kids and live-in, elderly relatives can really shoot your routine and your personal space to hell," she said. "They can create a total state of disequilibrium!"

She recalls that once she was doing a phone interview when her small son woke up and started whining for her. "I was on deadline, so I just threw him some chocolate cake," she recalled with a laugh. "A child cannot tolerate his parent's attention on anything but him, and kids can make even more demands than usual when they see you at home."

She added a that friend who does freelance book editing sometimes barricades herself from her kids in a linen closet to make important phone calls. "When their pre-schoolers stop napping, some people resort to working from nine p.m. to four a.m.," Amoroso said.

She warned that children also can open your work e-mail and raid your office supplies. When her son needed batteries for his CD player, he used to take them out of the household clocks, causing widespread confusion.

Even after the kids have left the nest, elderly parents may move in. Amoroso dealt with the most difficult scenario, a parent with Alzheimer's disease. Her mother would stand behind her and talk about unimportant things while Amoroso was trying to write or do a phone interview. At the same time, Amoroso's boss started demanding that she come into the office more frequently, so she had to quit her column.

She admitted, "At that point, I could not manage a good work/family balance." Eventually her mother's problems grew so serious that she had to move to a nursing home.

"Setting boundaries is harder with very young kids or older people with impaired cognition," Amoroso noted.
Sometimes establishing a work space that's a bit out of the way, such as in the basement or the attic, can help. Amoroso's husband works in a barn on the property, apart from the family. Wherever it is, your work space should be "sacred" and include objects you find inspirational.

Amoroso freely acknowledged that her own home office could be neater, and advised, "Don't expect that your household will run more smoothly just because you work from home."

She also pointed out that when you freelance it can be harder to steal time just for yourself. Once in a while, you need to take off spontaneously and do something fun, such as going to an afternoon movie.
Columnist Bill Ervolino, her former colleague from The Record, asked Amoroso about the problem of becoming too involved with kids' school projects when you work mainly from home. She agreed that such things can start to eat up your valuable work time, and firm boundaries have to be drawn.

When both spouses work at home, there may even be territorial disputes. NJ Creatives member Wally Littman complained that samples from his wife's baking business are threatening to crowd him out of his already modest home office space. Amoroso recommended calling in a professional organizer to establish how much room each of them actually needs.

"Check every six months or so, to see whether you routine is working," she said, in closing. "Remember that all of this is supposed to feed your soul."

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