NJ Creatives Network October 2004 Meeting

by Eileen Watkins

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Ted Fattoross recalled his own leap into self-employment as “jumping into the abyss.” He admits that leaving his family’s business 17 years ago gave him anxiety attacks for months.

Since that time, he’s presented more than 30,000 motivational programs—about 300 a year—for groups of all sizes and all ages. He speaks on topics including sales, customer service, teamwork and leadership, for audiences that range from high school students to government officials to corporate executives.

Fattoross talked to NJ Creatives and their guests about achieving a positive balance between their personal and professional lives. When asked how he finds the energy for all of his projects and activities, he explains that he loves what he’s doing. “When you find something to die for, you never work another day in your life,” he said.

As founder and CEO of Network PLUS, Fattoross believes one of the secrets to his success has been creative networking, and noted that many people neglect prime opportunities. He recalled a networking breakfast at a New Jersey diner where most of the attendees stood around talking to people they already knew—“To me, that’s like being knee-deep in a lake of fresh water, and dying of thirst!” Fattoross approached a man with a bored, closed-off expression and complimented him on his tie to break the ice. The man turned out to be a high school principal, and ended up asking Ted to do a presentation at his school.

“My Mom taught me, ‘Never mind your own business,’” Fattoross added with a smile.

He said most people seemed to walk around disgruntled, blaming the “wrong” spouse, job or boss. “I have zero tolerance for people who moan and groan about the boss at the water cooler,” he said. “As long as there’s a job ad in the paper, never work where you don’t have respect for the boss. We become what we believe and who we hang around with.”

To have balance in your life, he advised, you can want success, but you shouldn’t need it—“When I started out, I drove a truck, and I know I can do it again.”

“You are not your job, and your children are not their grades,” he reminded his listeners. He explained that if you over-emphasize achievement with your child, “you’ll raise a dysfunctional CEO. Striving for excellence is health, but striving for perfection is neurotic.”

Fattoross believes even the busiest person can find time for some volunteer work. He takes part in a program called PEAL—Phoning the Elderly to Alleviate Loneliness. He recalled feeling guilty because one woman constantly complained and Ted wanted to “fix her life.” Another PEAL volunteer advised him to “just listen,” because that alone would help the woman.

He notes that people who expect smooth sailing in life are just kidding themselves. “We’re all going to get lemons. It’s about turning them into lemonade,” he said. “I wish you a life filled with struggle—I hope you never get comfortable.”

He concluded with some words from Nelson Mandela, frequently quoted by another motivational speaker, Marianne Williamson—“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.”

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